he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let's paint friendship bongs
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
