and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
