somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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