does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
