she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i've created a new STD.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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