Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
