My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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