But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
