Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
