the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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