and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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