K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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