He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
