I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
