there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
