I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize