how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
