Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
