if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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