I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
