I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
