why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Someone signed my nipple.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
