It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
