if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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