You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
