planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
