How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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