BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
