I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
