Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
