benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize