You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
