I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
