did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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