spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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