i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize