New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
