i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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