So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I need to calm my uterus...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
