either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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