if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
