Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
