they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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