Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
