i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize