I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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