ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
