did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
