he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
