So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
