grandma shit on top of the toilet
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
