We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
