Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize