ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize