I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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