and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
