that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
