Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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