Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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