And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
