so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Someone signed my nipple.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
